No Sleep in Brooklyn

Ever have one of those nights where you know you just aren't going to be able to sleep a bit without a Xanax?
I hate those nights.
I am pretty sure this is all being mostly instigated by my hormones. I had to take the "bad" BC pills this month b/c I ran out of the "good" ones and it was all I had for spares. Boy, now I remember why I switched.
I feel so bi-polar. Mostly just a constant low anxiety just under the surface of my forehead.
Goddamn it. I've been thinking about those stupid little kisses way too much. Good thing we are taking a forced break.
And snare drum shmare drum. Why can't he read my mind? Ha!
He was before Thursday. But right now, it really might be me.
How much time do I waste willing that goddamn phone to ring?