Unbalance.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why do I attack the people I love the most?
Always.

It doesn't make any sense. Is it deliberate subconscious sabotage?
I love him dearly. Why would I do that?

I have to fucking stop being so angry. I'm not really sure where it comes from. I do know he will listen to me if I want to try to figure it out. But I have to quit being so mean. I HAVE to. I'm going to fuck this up forever, and soon, otherwise.

All he asks, and has ever asked, was for the Golden Rule. Why don't I hold myself to it?

He is emotional too. Under that tough, stoic exterior, there is so much going on. And I USED to be so aware of that. So sensitive to it. What happened? Why is it all about me all of a sudden?

He loves me. I have nothing to worry about other than myself fucking it up.
You don't treat people you love that way. He's right.