Doubt

"Well, that's pretty far into the future to be worried about, I mean, like a year and half.
And I sure don't see myself ever living in North Carolina. Besides, I may even be at Columbia for 3 years."

This really knocked out my wind a little. Why? I don't know. It's true. It's only been 6 months.
Why am I fretting? I want to think about the future. I want him to see me in his. He says, "you'll be able to buy a house some day, don't worry. Plus, you'll most likely have 'a partner' to help you." What?
A partner? Implying not him. His stock certainly isn't in us. Why do I have the urge to be settled all of a sudden. Getting married(!!?!!), moving somewhere calm, taking up learning again, and doing, and helping instead of just flinging from thing to thing with out being able to plan more than two hours in advance. Why does this sound so wonderful now?
Did I blow my chance for this? I know AB feels the same. I know he would.
Why do I think like this?

Oh, and my neuroticism. Yes, it's finally coming out to him. I'm finally comfortable enough (ironically) to let him see my anxiety. And he says, "I never would have thought you were this neurotic when we first started dating." No shit. You never would have put up with it.

It's so sad. Do you ever REALLY know someone. Is there anyone who's ever known EVERYTHING? That I didn't have something I was hiding from them. Some little thing, that I knew they would disapprove of, or be afraid of? I'm afraid not. It's easy. "Well, it's just this little detail, they don't need to know. It will just upset them." But now I'm not so sure.