Neurotic

This one will be the death of me.

What I woke up to this morning on my phone:
"Extrenely drunk n we dont need to talk bout this but jst tlkd w pete n ian 4 a wile and i think you shldnt have to deal w my issues. seri6usiosy u dont deserv that and im sorry for it. Theses are my problems not your. For real you dnt need to respond i jst wantd to tell you this. Gonna sleep now."
My sleepy Xanaxed brain freaked out, assumed he was dumping me. Killed the anxiety with Adderall in order to get my piles of work done before the holiday.

He called. He apologized. Absolutely not dumping me. Just fretting. Feeling guilty about putting it on me, though it hasn't been that much yet.
The relief was a splash of euphoria. I want him even more. I'm attracted to his anxiety. I understand it so completely through living it.

God, I panicked so fast. That terrifies me.
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Especially after how good Philly was. Hand holding. Meeting his oldest friends. It was obviously a big deal, gauged by their reaction.
The filthy basement show. Sleeping on a hard wood floor.
I wish she wouldn't have fucked him up so bad.