Blowing up in my face
I don't even know what to type, this situation has become so difficult.
Why do things turn so incestuous?
Why did I choose the wrong one in the first place? I knew it immediately. But couldn't stop myself.
I tried to break it off last night, and failed. It's going to break his heart after all, and I wasn't ready for that realization.
But the pull I feel toward AW is so strong sometimes that I can't ignore it. Especially Friday. We didn't ignore it. But we (he) didn't give in completely either. And so so we are left is a fugue state. Like the area between 2 magnets where the pin appears to float. Though really, it's being pushed and pulled so hard that the pressure is almost unbearable. Those hands felt far too right to ignore. More right.
Why do things turn so incestuous?
Why did I choose the wrong one in the first place? I knew it immediately. But couldn't stop myself.
I tried to break it off last night, and failed. It's going to break his heart after all, and I wasn't ready for that realization.
But the pull I feel toward AW is so strong sometimes that I can't ignore it. Especially Friday. We didn't ignore it. But we (he) didn't give in completely either. And so so we are left is a fugue state. Like the area between 2 magnets where the pin appears to float. Though really, it's being pushed and pulled so hard that the pressure is almost unbearable. Those hands felt far too right to ignore. More right.
posted by Duckette at 12:19 PM
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