No more contact for awhile.
I feel a sick roil in my stomach.
But at the same time, I have the roil of excitement for something new.
Would I be devastated otherwise?
Will I protect myself enough?
I am not sure how to function without him.
But yet, winging it seems to be going ok.
He's at the forefront of my thoughts, I have so much to tell him that I never will. None if it is really important in the grand scheme.
Just everyday blabbering. The chef from Babbo and Buddokhan in one day. The drinking ticket at the beach. That I am actually ok at Frisbee, I can throw and catch. The firecracker that fell in the kiddy pool.
But now I don't have to tell him what I don't want to either.
I can be excited without guilt. (at least try).
I just need to let time pass, but not waste it.
Like she says, almost everyone is lonely. Especially here, where making a connection is practically a revelation. Hence my fear. But yet I made one. And we'll just see how it goes.