Heartbreaker = Heartbroken

My trip can only be described as a bit of a reckless expression of my id.

My liver hates me.
I have large mysterious bruises, pulled muscles, and terribly sore feet from dancing.
I still have sand in my hair, two showers later.
I have a delightful sunburn.
My confidence has spiked and plummeted over and over.
I was frivolous. I didn't over-analyze. Or even consider consequences. I lived in the moment, for many many moments.

I may have bruised a heart and an ego. Maybe two. I do not feel good about that. It was an act of self preservation.
Sometimes memories come rushing back to hard and fast and they had to be squelched. Unfortunately my method was heartless.

Saying goodbyes has been terrible. Especially to the boys. Splitting up for real. Growing up. I'm having such a hard time with it. 5 years of having them there. Such a motley crew. I haven't laughed so hard in so long. And yet the laughter made me so sad. I won't ever have anything like them again. Thinking of them without each other, on their own, is the most disconcerting, somehow.

The clowns and the brooders. Duluth and Minneapolis. The best friends.

Tomorrow, it's back to reality. Life. Anxiety. However I did relax, in my way.